


Dating Kings and Queens

by Baroness_Blixen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s06e08 Rain King, F/M, X-Files OctoberFicFest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-22 03:09:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8270356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/pseuds/Baroness_Blixen
Summary: “Mulder, when was the last time you even went on a date?” A question Mulder doesn't want to answer; and answers Mulder isn't sure he wants to hear.





	1. Chapter 1

“He wants advice. Dating advice.”

“From whom?”

“Yours truly.” The silence on the other end of the phone stretches on like a piece of gum under his foot. At first he’s convinced Holman has simply messed with the reception and Scully is currently praising him for his selfless, heroic behavior regarding the other man. His idea flies out the window and disappears in to the thick fog when he hears her breathe deeply, which sounds conspicuously like a sigh, and finally speak:

“Mulder, when was the last time you even went on a date?” Five years ago, Mulder thinks. Or something like that. The truth is, he can’t even remember. And it’s not like it matters; just because he hasn’t been on a date in a while, doesn’t mean he is clueless. She of all people should know that.

“Oh, like you’re the expert. When have you last been on a date, agent Scully?” It is supposed to be a distraction, a diversion. Something about Scully’s silence is different now though. There is a shift; if he were able to see her, he’s certain, she’d be fidgety. Scully is usually not fidgety, he has to admit, but there’s something here and he’s not sure he wants to know. He has to know, of course; he’s just not sure he wants to.

“This is not about me, Mulder.” Scully snaps at him.

“Have you been on any dates recently, Scully?” Holman’s stare is intense and Mulder turns away, no longer caring about the other’s man love life.

“Does it matter?”

“It matters to me.” Pacing the room, Mulder looks everywhere but at Holman. He still catches the grin on the other man’s face as if he’s suspected something like this all along. But he’s wrong, Mulder thinks; he and Scully are partners, they’re friends and they are moving in a direction that might one day result in them being more than that. But they’re doing it in their own pace and with tiny baby steps. Granted, sometimes that baby stumbles and falls down, staring up from the ground questioning why it ever tried to start walking. And just sometimes it takes a step backwards, just for fun. In the end, though, they’re always moving together. At least that’s what Mulder thought until now.

“Scully?” Mulder can’t help his voice sounding needy and uncertain. He’s certain that he’s just heard Holman chuckle somewhere behind him.

“Look, Mulder,” she starts and there’s that sigh again, “I might have been on a date sometime in the recent past, but that’s not-”

“How recent are we talking?”

“Mulder, how is this helping Holman?”

“Seems like you should be giving him advice. You’re obviously better qualified than I am.” Mulder doesn’t want to be childish, really. The feeling of betrayal, as misguided as it may be, weighs heavily on him.

“Mulder.” It’s her ‘please-be-reasonable’ voice and if there’s one thing Mulder doesn’t want to be right now it’s reasonable.

“I’ll talk to you later.” He quickly says and before she even gets the chance to get a word in, he hangs up the phone. Mulder turns back to Holman, who smiles at him sympathetically.

“All right, Holman, let’s get this thing started.” He’s just going to prove Scully wrong. He knows what he’s doing and he’s going to get Holman his woman.


	2. Chapter 2

Dana Scully has a secret. A hidden quality, stained in dark, mean colors that she locks away deep inside herself. It's so irrational, so not her that she never admits to it; not even to herself. Sometimes, though, it will reveal itself and it's always, as a rule, at the worst possible moment.

Like right now.

She knows – she sees – that Mulder does not want to kiss this woman. Sheila. Any other moment, she might even find this funny. Not today, not with Mulder acting like a territorial idiot on the phone. He didn't even let her complain and now this. Scully feels hot anger surge deep inside and oh no, there it is: the green-eyed monster. The secret crawls out of her heart, settles on top of it and just watches. Yes, Scully is jealous. She's always been a jealous person. Not that she would ever admit it to anyone; it's her very own dirty little secret. It's the most ridiculous, illogical emotion on any given day, but for this strange parade unfolding in front of her it's completely grotesque. Holman rushes past her, his own jealousy and disappointment overwhelming him, but Scully can't move away. Mulder's eyes meet hers for a fleeting moment and they scream for help.

"Oh, you sure know how to weaken a girl's knees." They're done, finally. Sheila touches Mulder's face and Scully has to take a deep breath to compose herself. This is ridiculous. Both parties turn to her and Scully realizes she said it out loud. Mulder stares at her with lipstick all over his face looking like some kind of silly clown.

"I'm sorry, Agent Scully. We just got carried away." Sheila starts wiping away the lipstick from Mulder's face and Scully is ready to strangle the woman.

"I don't care what my partner does in his own time," she says and hopes it sounds truthful, "but the fog has lifted and I'd really like to go home. Now."

"Uhm, Scully. You better look at this." Mulder points through the glass door that he's just been pushed against by Sheila. Reluctantly, Scully walks closer. She eyes Sheila warily as if she could attack Mulder again at any moment. Mulder points once more, like an impatient little child. Scully doesn't know much about meteorology, but even she can recognize thunderstorms.

"I think we'll be here for a while." Mulder tells her. His tone is almost cheery and Scully considers strangling him instead now. She closes her eyes, sighs deeply.

"You two should come to our reunion. We can dance, Agent Mulder. I'm sure you're a great dancer." Sheila's hand lands flat on his chest and when she starts playing with his tie, Scully can't take it anymore.

"Sheila, I think you should maybe… freshen up?" It's blunt, Scully knows, but she just wants the woman to leave Mulder alone. Actually, she just wants her to leave period. If only they could just get out of this town, she thinks with a sigh.

"You're right, Agent Scully. I want to look good for my man." Scully catches Sheila's hand just as it's about to touch Mulder's arm. The two woman look at each other for a moment, both trying to claim their stake, and Sheila is the first to break. She laughs joyfully and nods. She blows Mulder a kiss before she walks away.

"What was *that*?" Mulder asks, his hand on his face in an attempt to finally get the lipstick off. Scully takes a tissue out of her coat pocket and starts cleaning his cheeks and mouth as if he were a little kid.

"What was what, Mulder? Is this your way of giving dating advice?"

"You should have seen it, Scully. It was not my fault." Fed up with her persistent dabbing at his face, or with all of her, he takes the tissue out of her hand and finishes the rest himself.

"Red's not your color."

"Very funny, Scully. We need to find Holman and explain this."

"No, Mulder. You need to find Holman and explain this. I have nothing to do with it. I just want to go home."

"We won't be able to go home until Holman has calmed down. You just saw it yourself, Scully."

"I just saw a lot of things." She mumbles, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Jealous?" He has the audacity to grin at her. Scully hates it when he's right; especially at a moment like this.

"You missed a spot, Mulder." Scully tells him and points at his cheek.

"Scully, wait. About earlier-"

"I don't want to hear it, Mulder. Not now." She needs to leave. Mulder can deal with his mess by himself. She'll try to get a room somewhere and if she can't, she'll just wait in the car for him.

"Hey, Scully wait a moment." His voice is gentle now and she stops. He can push all her buttons so well when he uses that voice. She hates him for that too. Scully stops, but she doesn't turn around until she feels his hand on her arm.

"I need your help with his." He admits sheepishly. There's still a smudge of lipstick on his cheek and jealous Dana is about to make a reappearance. Scully shuts her down and tries to focus on what's important here. She doesn't believe that Holman is influencing the weather of course; that's just not possible. There's a logical explanation for this turn of weather events somewhere and for once she doesn't care to find it. She wants to get away from here, pretend neither the phone call nor Mulder's kiss with Sheila ever happened and go on with her life. She's good with putting stuff like that away inside herself. She has a closet just for missed chances, close encounters and unspoken feelings.

"Scully? Please?" His last resort: his puppy eyes. Scully isn't sure he knows what his puppy eyes do to her, but he's got that look and she can't say no. She can't be furious with him, as much as she wants to be, and she can't just let him do it alone. She's pretty sure he'd screw it up even worse without her by his side anyway.

"All right, Mulder. We'll find Holman and then what?"

"We'll show Sheila that Holman really does love her."

"Mulder, to be honest, it doesn't look like she cares for him… that way."

"Let's just try, all right? For Holman's sake. And ours if we ever want to leave this place." His eyes plead with her not knowing she's already in. Unable to stare at it much longer, Scully leans forward and wipes away the last trace of Sheila's lipstick.

"Thanks," Mulder says taking her hand and examining the tiny red smudge of lipstick, "You know I didn't want to kiss her, right?" Scully stays quiet; of course she knows, but she doesn't want to tell him. "Earlier on the phone… I'd like to talk about that."

"Mulder, why? I can date whenever I want, you know."

"I know," he says simply and there's no humor in his voice, there's no smile on his face, "I'm just not sure why you can't tell me about it."

"What do you mean?"

"We're friends, right?" Scully nods uncertainly.

"Friends tell each other things like that."

"No, they don't. We're not-" She stops herself, looks away. Anywhere but at Mulder. This is not the place or the time to get into this. If it were up to her, it'd never be the right moment to talk about this ever again. After all, they never talk about anything like these things. Intimate things.

"We're not what, Scully?" His voice is as insistent as his eyes and when did his face get so close to hers?

"I'm all done!" Sheila reappears like a small thunderstorm herself. She grabs Mulder's arm and he disappears out of Scully's personal space. "Let's go. You coming, Agent Scully?" Without answering, Scully follows them outside into the storm.

It can't possibly get any worse anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

"We need to find Holman." Scully says, trying not to be pushed away by Sheila, who infuses herself between the two partners. Mulder throws her an apologetic smile, but Scully is really not in the mood for any of this.

"Oh, I'm sure he's already on his way. He seemed to be in a hurry to get going." Sheila is staring at Mulder like he's hung the moon. Scully, being forced to walk behind them, just rolls her eyes. Whatever Mulder's plan was, she's certain it isn't this.

"I think we should look for him. Do you have his number, Sheila? We could call him."

"He'll be at the reunion," Sheila turns to her, "I know Holman." The way she says it gives Scully the tiniest fraction of hope that maybe, just maybe, they can turn their luck around.

The reunion is like every other high school reunion in the history of reunions. The gym smells like age-old teenage angst and sweat, the decoration is cheap and kitschy. Sheila is obviously in awe of it all. She lets go of Mulder's arm – finally – and greets several people, who look just as enchanted.

"That woman has a tight grip." Mulder mumbles rubbing his arm. Scully looks at him and chuckles. It's his own fault. If he hadn't meddled, they'd be home by now. So she's not going to feel sorry for him right now.

"Stacy, this is my – this is Fox Mulder." Sheila practically glows with excitement.

"Oh, hello." The other woman blushes, giggles, and suddenly Scully feels like she's actually been transported back to her own high school days.

"Hi. Uhm, have you seen Holman? Holman Hart?" Mulder asks when the woman refuses to let go of his hand. Mulder is serious eye candy in Kroner, Kansas. Scully would find it much more amusing if there wasn't the familiar sense of jealousy raging its ugly head once again. She wants to drag Mulder away from these women before more of them start flocking around him.

"Oh yeah, he's over there!" Stacy turns and points. Sheila waves at him and Holman takes a sip from what Scully can only assume is an alcoholic beverage. If Mulder is right about any of this (and she still refuses to believe it, really, but just in case), a drunk Holman is probably not the best idea.

"Mulder, I'm going to talk to him." Mulder stares at Scully, silently pleading with her to take him with her. She's gently shaking her head.

"You had your chance." She feels his eyes on her back as she makes her way over to Holman.

"Hey Holman. What are you drinking?" Scully is using the same voice she usually reserves for small children. It's not a deliberate choice, but seeing Holman's red rimmed eyes, she just can't help it. She gently takes his arm to lead him away from the alcohol. He's already clutching his cup like a lifeline. His eyes stray over to Sheila and Mulder. The woman has her hand on Mulder's back and Scully takes a deep breath. She can't get distracted now.

"She never sees me. She never *believes* me." Holman says with his eyes still fixated on Sheila. Scully follows his gaze, but she can't see it. What does he see in this woman? Maybe she should have let Mulder handle this after all. No, she can do this. Clearly.

"Have you told her how you feel?"

"Yes. Agent Mulder said I should tell her. That if I didn't, it would only chew me up inside." Scully looks at Mulder, remembering their phone call earlier. They'll have to have a talk, too. An honest talk.

"He's right about that, Holman," the man nods without looking at her, "what did Sheila say?"

"She told me she loved me, too," the sadness drips from his voice like rain, "but not like that. She sees me as a friend. She likes men like Darly, men like Agent Mulder. Real men."

"You are a real man." Scully says. The truth is that she knows next to nothing about Holman, so there's nothing she can add. 

"Not in her eyes." The music changes to a soft ballad and she doesn't quite know why, but she tugs on Holman's hand so that he looks at her.

"Do you want to dance, Holman?" His eyes grow wide before he nods. Scully hopes that this will work. She's counting on her intuition here and on whatever she detected in Mulder's voice on the phone earlier. She could be wrong about this; really, really wrong. She hopes that she's right, though.

Holman is a bad dancer and Scully can't help but start leading. At least that gives her an excuse to turn them so that she's facing Mulder. He stares at them and there's something in his eyes she can't decipher. They're usually so good when it comes to this; with one look, she can tell what he's thinking, to what conclusion his mind is running to. Not this time. Scully misses a step and she and Holman stumble. He giggles, obviously drunk, and his hand slides down her back slowly and further and-

"Hey Holman, mind if I cut in?" Mulder is there in an instant and Scully bites her tongue not to smile. She was right after all. Luckily, Sheila is still attached to his arm like she belongs there.

"Sheila, why don't you dance with Holman? Maybe you two could talk?" Mulder puts emphasis on the last word and nods at Holman. He gently pushes Sheila in the other man's arms and takes Scully's hand. He leads them away so that they, too, can talk. In private.

"So that's your plan?" Mulder's breath tickles her neck; he's way too close to her. His hands are on her hips in an almost painful grip. His whole body, pressed against hers, feels so warm that Scully thinks she might get lost right here, right in the middle of what could turn out to be the storm of the century. She couldn't care less.

"Hm?"

"Dancing with Holman? Sheila didn't exactly care."

"She didn't."

"No." There's an unspoken 'I care' in the way Mulder's lips travel against her skin. His mouth maps the way from her neck, to her throat and finally to her face. Scully is clinging to him, desperately trying to stay focused. Why did they come here? She can't for the life of her remember when she feels Mulder hum something against her skin.

"Sheila!" The voice cuts through their moment like a sharp knife. Mulder loosens his grip on Scully without letting go of her. They both turn to see Daryl hobble into the gym. Mulder is about to intervene when Scully puts her hand on his arm to stop him. He stills immediately.

"Trust me." She whispers and he stays with her, tightening his arms around her.

"Daryl, you better leave," Holman's voice is unsteady, but he shields her with his whole body, "Sheila is done with you."

"Oh, I'm sure she can tell me that herself."

"He's right." Sheila says from behind Holman's back. Mulder quickly glances at Scully just to check if she's changed her mind; feeling his eyes on her, she gently shakes her head no.

"Leave, Daryl. Or you'll be sorry." Daryl, with a dirty grin, steps forward and that's when Holman finally snaps. His fist makes contact with Daryl's face and in an instant the man is on the ground.

"Oh Holman!" Like a movie, Scully thinks, the scene unfolds: Sheila throws herself at Holman, Daryl is helped by several people including his secretary. Someone hollers for everyone to start dancing again and slowly, but surely the party continues. A minute later most guests have completely forgotten about the fight. Mulder and Scully, however, have not.

"I think my plan worked better than yours." Scully tells him, pointing at Sheila and Holman. When Mulder doesn't answer, she directs her eyes at him and suddenly, she thinks, he is a man with a much different plan.


	4. Chapter 4

Shelia and Holman are talking quietly, dancing softly to some pop ballad that seems to be dripping pure sugar onto them and all the other couples on the dance floor. Scully herself feels her body reacting to the sweet magic; swaying to the beat of the music, she can't help but be proud of seeing Sheila and Holman like this.

"Scully?" She turns to Mulder and sees him extend his hand. He can't seriously be thinking about dancing, can he? They should go home. Something tells her the sky will be clear of thunderstorms and rain right about now. Not that she would admit that to Mulder.

"Come on, just one dance." He urges her on. Long seconds pass, the song turns even more cheesy, and finally Scully takes his hand. Their bodies end up tightly pressed together. It's a slow song after all and she can't really complain. Scully is not even sure she would want to complain.

"So, I think the plan worked." He whispers against her hair. She can tell that he's watching the new couple in their romantic bliss. Scully lifts her head to do the same. She catches Sheila and Holman in a first, very innocent liplock and sighs happily. She puts her head back under Mulder's chin and her eyes drift close. At the moment she can't remember why she wanted to leave this place so badly.

"I bet we can leave soon," Mulder goes on as if reading her mind, "but there's something else." Scully feels the vibration of his voice against her, feels it everywhere. So she doesn't really listen. She revels in the feeling of his arms around her, holding her tightly. Maybe they look like a couple themselves. For once she doesn't care.

"Hm?" She mumbles against his chest. Strong chest, she marvels, soft chest.

"You owe me a story. About you going on a date apparently." Scully's eyes open in an instant. There's another song playing, she realizes. It's still slow, but not as slow. There's no reason for them to be this close, as if they're glued together. Trying to put some distance between them, Scully feels Mulder's arm tighten around her.

"Mulder, like I said it's-"

"None of my business? Yeah, but it kinda is."

"No, it's not." In fact, she agrees with him. It's his business, in a way; they're partners, they're friends and on some days there's more than that. So why shouldn't she tell him about a date she had?

"Why can't you tell me about your date? I'm not asking for his name. Or was it a she?"

"His name is Morgan."

"All right. And? You guys going steady?" Scully wishes she could look into his eyes. His voice gives next to nothing away; he could just be curious, or maybe there's more. She swears she's heard his voice tinted with jealously earlier. But maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe he wants her to date other people. Her hands are loosely around his waist and she tightens them now as if afraid to let him go. Mulder, with his head still pressed against hers, chuckles.

"Going steady, Mulder?"

"You know what I mean. Tell me about your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Scully grimaces thinking back to the date several weeks ago. She would have surely forgotten about it had Mulder not started with this whole advice thing. "He was just a date."

"When?"

"A couple of weeks ago."

"How did you guys meet?" The song changes again and it's another of those slow dance, grab me and kiss me songs. Was Holman messing with the sound system, too? Scully wonderes before she dismisses the idea as absolutely crazy. She is beginning to sound a lot like Mulder.

"If you really must know, Mulder, my mother set up the date." There is the big ugly truth she didn't want Mulder to know. Not the sole reason she hadn't told him about Morgan, but a solid one.

"Your mother?" There's no mistaking the humor in his voice and Scully tries again to put some distance between them. Mulder, however hold her tightly. If she really struggled, she knows, he would let her go. But maybe it's better this way. Get it over and done with.

"She was, well, concerned that I haven't been out in a while and-"

"How long, Scully? Before Morgan?"

"Would you please let me finish?" She snaps. Scully turns her head so that she can watch the couples on the dance floor. Sheila and Holman are still dancing, too. She can see them talking to each other, never once taking their eyes off the other.

"She knows Morgan from her church and she kept asking so I promised to go on one date with him." What she doesn't tell him, though, is that her mother had asked her about possibly dating Mulder first. She had denied it, of course. She would always deny her feelings for him. It was like saying her name; she was so used to it, there was no thought to it. It just happened.

"One date? So you and Morgan are not - ?"

"Picking out china patterns soon? Not likely." Scully hadn't heard from him again and her mother hadn't mentioned him either.

"Thanks for telling me, Scully." Suddenly his voice is all soft, all gentle. He kisses the top of her head and she can't help but sigh in contentment. Unlike her date with Morgan, dancing with Mulder at a reunion that's not theirs, in a small town in the middle of Kansas feels absolutely right.

"So, when was your last date, Mulder?"

"Honestly? I don't remember." Scully uses the moment of surprise to finally entangle herself from him. They're still close, their bodies touching, but she can look into his eyes. His hands stay on her hips and his thumbs gently stroke her there. She's not sure it's appropriate, but it feels too good to stop him.

"Hm, maybe you should give it a try, Mulder. Looks like your plan worked after all, so you're not completely clueless."

"You want to go on a date?" Mulder asks her without missing a beat.

"What? Mulder, I meant you and… well, someone."

"Who would I even ask, Scully?" To her absolute horror (and delight), he's serious. But he's not seriously asking her out on a date? That's the weirdest thing she's heard in a while and she's heard some crazy things. Especially out of Mulder's mouth.

"I might not be as interesting as Morgan," Scully grunts, "but you know I can behave myself in a restaurant. Most of the time, anyway." So she was right about his jealousy earlier; Scully swallows the intense feeling of happiness, but her lips curl up into a small smile anyway.

"Mulder, we don't need to go on a date." Scully watches as his face falls in disappointment. Apparently, that came out wrong. His hands leave her hips and she immediately misses his warmth and the feeling of being held by him. So she takes his hands and puts them back. Mulder looks at his hands, as if they're not his own, then back at Scully.

"We don't need to go on a date," she repeats, "because we've been on hundred dates already, Mulder. We had meals together, travelled together, we even slept together," He grins at her and she rolls her eyes, "you know what I mean. What would we do on a date? That's not us."

"So we're people who don't date." That's what her mother said to her: You don't date, Dana. You need to get out there and date. She hadn't realized it then, not really. She'd been too occupied with denying her feelings for Mulder. She's right about this; they've been dating all this time. Without even noticing it. She smiles up at him.

"We're not, I guess."

"But there's something, Scully, something we haven't done as these people who have been on dates without dating."

"And what's that?" He doesn't answer her. Instead he leans down and captures her lips with his. It’s a soft kiss, not unlike the one Scully witnessed earlier between Holman and Sheila. She feels the slightest bit of tongue and she opens her mouth under him, but before she knows it, he draws away again. It's a promise of something; of something beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of the OctoberFicFest (my new favorite month, honestly).


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